Problems with Mom

So my mom came to visit today. She had to fix her car. There was something wrong with it and then they realized there was a hole in the muffler. So they had to fix that. They wound up patching it.

I love my mom. I really do. But it’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to be near her. I used to think that my mom was awesome. But now I’m realizing that she’s loud. She talks way too much for no reason. She acts so childish. Like a teenage girl sometimes. I think that she might even be having a midlife crisis or something right now as I’m writing this. It’s just weird.

I’m still upset about the way she asked for a picture of me. So let me start from the beginning of that one for you. In April, I went with my boyfriend to the Blue Man Group concert. On my birthday, my mom came to visit.

So first thing, my birthday was on Wednesday. She called me on Monday to tell me she was coming over. I already had plans to go out with my boyfriend. So I rearranged my plans so she could come visit. Then, when she gets to my house, she’s bitching that she has to be at work at 8 in the morning and that she has to drive home in the dark.

And the whole time, I’m thinking, “You made me feel bad for already having plans. I didn’t have to rearrange them for you.”

See that pisses me off. She made plans around me without my consent. And then when I’m a good daughter and rearrange my plans for her, she’s complaining.

I also made an effort to look pretty that day. I’m not a beauty. I know that. I’ve known it all of my life. I’ve been told it on several occasions by my mother too. So I’m wearing a cute dress, nice jewelry. I’ve brushed my hair, teeth, and I’ve shaved. I used to never shave unless she made me. But I have a boyfriend and I want to look as close to ‘beautiful’ as I can for him.

So we’re sitting in the kitchen. All of us talking. And then my mom turns to me and says, “God you’ve got thick upper arms.” I immediately became upset, but I didn’t show it much. I didn’t want to show it because my boyfriend was right there and I didn’t want to cause a fuss with my mom. After all, she doesn’t seem the problem with it.

But later, we showed my mom a picture of us (my boyfriend and I) at the blue man concert. I look really pale in the photo. Almost like a ghost. A fact my mom pointed out with laughs and with very little love that I could feel.

Well, several days later, I miss a call from her. My phone was in my purse in the house while I was outside. It was from mom.

“It’s your mother. Send me that picture of you at the blue man concert. I want to show MawMaw how pale you are!” she ordered with a laugh at the end. MawMaw is my grandmother on her side. I heard no love in her voice. Just teasing. Teasing like that you would get from children in elementary school.

So I decided not to send the photo. I’m not going to be the butt of her jokes. I’m not going to allow her to bully me because that’s what it feels like.

But she calls again. And I answer. And she asks me to send the picture. I tell her I will when I get the time. And I don’t send it.

Then today she comes over. And that’s all she brings up and the fact that my sister won’t answer her calls. I tell her I’ll email it to her.

She complains. She can’t get into her email. She broke her laptop screen.

I have no sympathy.

She tells me to text it on my phone.

I lie and say it’s not on my phone, because I got a new one. I tell her I can’t put it on my phone.

My brother picks up my other phone and says I can blue tooth it. Luckily, my phone spazzed out on him and he couldn’t do it. I took the battery out and said the only way to fix it was to leave the battery out for a few hours.

Mom left pouty. And now I think they’re going over to my sister’s house to bug her. And I’ve told them that she’s sick. She’s not feeling well. But they don’t seem to care.

My sister doesn’t want him near her or her children. And frankly, I don’t want him near them either. He was talking about getting in touch with a friend to bring him drugs so he could get high. And the ones he mentioned are not ones I approve of or condone. I’m not okay with that. I don’t want him near them. I don’t want him near me.

I don’t know if our mom is just blind or if she’s turning a blind eye, but I’m not okay with it. Mom and my brother have both been told that he isn’t allowed over at that house. He did something stupid and my sister’s mother-in-law said he can’t come over anymore. But they’re not listening or something.

I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m now officially done with my brother. I don’t know about my mom. I’ll try to have her in my life, but if she continues on with the way she is, I’ll probably just ignore her too. I’d hate to do it, but I don’t want to be bullied anymore by anyone. Especially not my own family.