rambles

How do you start me on a project but don't have all the items I need to start on said project. Like you can not start this project with out Sims and tags. So now I can only plug these items in and charge them. Like the fuck do you want me to do with this shit 

thoughts

They brought me over to help on a project in line section at my job. Through the technical issues I've been given other things that are not this project. I finished one pallet, told the one in charge that they can bring the next set only to be told that was it. I asked if I go back to my original section only to be told no. But the project is done? So why not? 

I'm just annoyed. Plus this person says stupid stuff that makes no sense. 

random Silver X Espio fanfic

 Silver was such a sweet naive guy. That’s what Espio thought. Sometimes he wondered how Silver maintained that optimism is a flaming hellscape. But Silver always tried to improve his time without letting himself feel down. He reminded the chameleon of a very fluffy energetic puppy sometimes. 

These were thoughts Espio had before he agreed to go clubbing for a ‘guy’s night’. Sonic had left to who knows where. Knuckles went off with Rouge. Shadow refused to come, something Espio wished he had also done. Tails was teaching Mighty how to play poker at a random table somewhere. And this ninja had been dragged onto the dance floor by an extremely intoxicated Silver.

The psychic had long since stopped talking to him in English. Espio wasn’t sure what language he was speaking. It sounded like messed up Spanish to him. 

Espio had drank a few drinks. He was a bit beyond tipsy. But Silver to him was sloshed with the way he hung onto the other’s body to stay up right as they danced.

“Silver, do you want to go back and get something eat?” The chameleon offered. He didn’t have much money, but if he could get the twenty something hedgehog outside for fresh air and way from the loud music he so desperately wanted to dance to, maybe the psychic would sober up. At least sober enough to speak English. 

Silver fixed his gold eyes on him. There was an intensity to those golden orbs Espio only saw during intense battle. Was Silver so intoxicated he saw the ninja as a threat?

A smile soon spread across Silver’s muzzle. Silver’s hands traced along Espio’s back causing him to shiver. Silver leaning his head on the ninja’s shoulder, his breath was hot and tingled on his neck. 

Silver leaned in closer to whisper something in that weird Spanish he couldn’t place. Maybe it’s a language that forms in the future. The tone sounded like a question.

“Yes.” Epsio nodded when he noticed Silver staring at him with those intense eyes. That stare was making him feel too warm.

Silver grinned widely as his tail wagged happily. He spoke again as he walked his fingers up Espio’s shoulder. 

Within the blink of an eye, the grey hedgehog chaos controlled them to a whole new place. Espio blinked as he struggled to make out the room. It was humid and warm. He took note of multiple tropical plants. The lack of light made it hard for him to make out more than silhouettes and the soft glow of the cyan marks on Silver’s body. 

Did Silver teleport them to a rainforest?

The ninja was knocked out of his musing by the psychic pressing a sloppy forceful kiss on his lips. Espio was caught off guard. He opened his mouth to remind Silver he was too intoxicated. only the psychic went deeper into the kiss.

It felt good. Espio couldn’t deny it made his whole body tingle. His thoughts went fuzzy as Silver led the experience. Espio could pick up many emotions in Silver’s eyes. None of which the usual sweet, innocent, naive look that Espio had come used to seeing. 

Espio debated what to do. Silver was too drunk. He, himself, was inebriated. Luckily not at Silver’s level. He at least would remember this in the morning.

“You’re not going to remember any of this in the morning,” Espio told the hedgehog. 

Silver snickered as he purred something the ninja didn’t understand. The snicker sounded daring. 

They had flirted before. So attraction was mutual on both sides. They had done nothing more than a few kisses. No talk or anything of exclusivity or definitions of their relationship. Espio decided to just roll with what the hedgehog wanted. After all, a few kisses and Silver would probably pass out wanting snuggles. 

Espio woke up the next morning, proved wrong. His body felt a bit stiff as his face was buried in Silver’s chest fur. What he originally thought was a rain forest was actually a bedroom filled with plants at every spot possible. 

Espio heard the door open but was too tired to move as he slowly drifted between consciousness and sleep. 

Shadow paused as he came into Silver’s bedroom to water his collection of house plants. Silver said yesterday he wouldn’t be home today. But here he was. Passed out in his bed, nude and with a guest at that. The black hedgehog rolled his eyes as he searched for a blanket in Silver’s closet. He found none, but did find two spare sheets. He tossed one on each of the forms. 

Silver groaned in response. 

“Morning Silver.” Shadow whispered. “You smell of booze.” 

Silver growled back. Espio froze upon hearing Shadow’s voice. A part of him feeling if he stayed perfectly still Shadow wouldn’t notice him.

“Don’t growl at me.” Shadow chided. “I’m the one watering your plants.”

“Go away.” Silver grumbled a few words Espio didn’t understand.

“Oh, so we’re only speaking Italian hung over I hear.” Shadow watered the plants. “Do your Fidanzato even know Italian?”

Fidanzato : Italian for Boyfriend.

Silver grumbled back several sentences. “Rather he did or not. He’s in my arms now.”

Shadow rolled his eyes. “You are a bold drunk I see.” He checked the soil of one plant. “Shame. The ninja’s a shy drunk. He’s turned invisible.”

Espio hadn’t realized he had turned invisible as he was pulled closer into Silver’s chest.

“You’re annoyingly chatty today.” Silver growled in Italian. “Leave Espio out of your lectures.” 

“Good on you for figuring out I was lecturing you.” Shadow mused. “Welp. Since you’re hung over and brought a ragazzo amante home, your cooking breakfast this morning.”

Ragazzo Amante : Italian for Lover Boy

“Whatever.” Silver waved his hand.

“Plants are watered.” Shadow stated as he walked back to the door. “Espio, I know you’re awake. Steal the rob from Silver’s closet when you feel like getting up. Bathroom is the first door down the hall. I’ll find some clothes to fit you and put them in there for you.” 

Espio felt his face become flush as the door clicked closed. The only good thing was that the ninja knew the Ultimate Life form could keep secrets. He just hated the idea that anyone saw him in a compromising position. It didn’t matter if he was nearly 30, he still hated it. 

They laid there for a long while before Espio’s blatter became demanding. The purple chameleon untangled himself from Silver’s limbs. Silver making soft upset sounds as he did so. Espio felt Silver’s powers attempting to pull him back into bed. 

“I have to pee.” Espio protested.

“That makes sense.” Silver finally spoke his first words in English since last night. He used his powers to open the closet and pulled out a soft pink robe out and into Espio’s chest. “Bathroom, is the first door down the hall.” 

Espio smirked at the pink robe. “I remember Shadow saying that. Does this come with bunny slippers?” He took note of the bunny character on the collar. 

“They’re in the shoe rack on the door.” Silver slowly sat up. “UGH. My head hurts.”

Espio slid into the robe as he grabbed the matching slippers. His head also hurt. Though probably not as much as the psychic. 

Rambles

 I find my depression a scary thing. Like here it is. Rearing its ugly head again. Telling me, “Hey, what’s the point of this? Why bother?” These words are scary. Disheartening. Like is there a point in me trying? Should I keep going? I just... feel bad. Lost. Alone. 

Perhaps writing this thoughts into a void will ease that pain. Make my eyes feel less heavy from tears I don't want to shed.

This project is dead in the water.

I know that. I just haven't come to terms with it yet. I want it to still have a small candle left for them when they return. A bit of warmth for when they come through that door like nothing ever happened going, "Let's do this thing!" 

How does one mourn the loss of someone still very much breathing? 

I miss the vibrance of them. The spark of life and extrovert personality that they seemed to show me. But at the same time... Where they real? Or were those just emotions they put on as a front to show us they were 'fine'.

I just to feel like they were a super hero. They could do anything and surely as they grew they would. I often felt like the blue one in that shadow of radiant sun. But here we are. Very different from before.

You suffer fools who you love. But you voice your frustrations to me about every lie they tell you. Every promise I hear about them breaking. Every awkward argument you have in my presence when I visit. Me glancing at my phone, trying to be secretive about texting a friend to give me an excuse so I can leave this tense atmosphere. 

I wonder and question. How is that love? How can you justify staying when it seems like 90% of your convos with me seem to be upset with your relationship? Is that other 10% so good? 

It must be. 

I just don't see it. 

Maybe my understanding of love is too different from yours. I've grown tired of being hurt over the years. Tired of the disappointment. Hell, most of the time I am tired of life. I have no real plans. Thoughts of how I would like to go. But can I really go? 

Do they have money to cremate or bury me? Will they be okay?

Originally I didn't want to see others sad over me. How would mom remember to eat? She can barely do that now with me coming home and making a sandwich for her after school. As the years gone by, taking care of others has been forced into my lap and so those every time I am too tired with life, I have to keep going. Who else will take care of X, Y, and Z if not me? Who will they borrow that 20 sum dollars from to pay that important bill? Who will buy Christmas for those kids since I know their parents are struggling and might not be able to afford it? Who will call in to reorder that prescription they need to renew? Who will do all the boring but needs to be done paper work? 

It feels like it's all fallen to my lap to be done. So how can I go just because I'm too tired to stay? Plus what is even on the other side of the end? Is it heaven? Another life? Is it just watching everyone on this plan but being unseen? Is it just dark? Nothingness that just goes on like an eerie dream? 

Where would I place my body anyway? I have no dental records so it would best if it was found quickly. But not so quick that they could bring me back. 

Who would find my body? I don't want it to be a relative or some random civilian. An emergency worker like Search and rescue, EMTs, Fire Fighter, or an officer of sorts would be preferred. They have seen many a body. They won't be tormented to see a corpse. They're used to it. 

Odd how this started from mixed feelings of me being the one carrying on a project they have abandoned and left me as the only going to my own intrusive thoughts of suicide. Perhaps I should get high off a gummy, drink, and distract myself until I am merry. 

The Witch Adopts the Duke's Precious Niece Ch5

Chapter 5:

Bedrich beamed at his long time friend, Gerald. "The lunch meet up went well. Soley loved the doll."

Gerald smiled as he sat down in the office. "I'd figured so. She's a lot like her mom then?" He pushed his black hair out of his eyes. 

"She's the spitting image of Julia. Except her eyes. Her eyes are a sparkly gold." Bedrich beamed.

Gerald nodded, "So…" he tapped his fingers on his knees, "Will you be bringing your cute niece home to live?"

Bedrich paused in his paperwork. "I… Julia is buried there."

Gerald sighed. Bedrich was always a nervous over thinker. "You can move Julia's grave to the family crypt."

"True," he nodded. "But what if dad and mom say something hurtful to them?"

"You're the Duke now," Gerald hissed. "You're parents can either zip it or leave the estate."

"But…" Bedrich looked nervous.

"If you lack the courage, I can do it for you." Gerald gave toothy grin. As a cat man, he could cause all sorts of mayhem. Gerald's tanacity is what earned him an Early title while out on the field. 

Bedrich sighed. "Please be merciful on them." 

Gerald humphed. "So when should I prepare the kid's welcome party?"

Bedrich sighed. Once Gerald was in something, he'd chase it for days. "But what about Miss Diana?"

"What about her?" Gerald scoffed.

"Miss Diana had raised my niece as her own. She even calls Miss Diana mom. They have a strong bond. Separating them would be cruel. Julia will be disappointed in me too." Bedrich reasoned. 

"Bring her here with the kid." Gerald stated like it was the easiest thing.

"But Miss Diana is a gardener. What about her garden?" Bedrich tried to reason. "Miss Diana will surely find this place stuffy."

Gerald arched a brow at his friend. His ears perked as he picked up on something. "Tell me about Miss Diana."

Bedrich have Gerald a questioning look only to be met with Gerald's poker face. He spoke of several things he noticed about Miss Diana. He kept the fact she was a witch a secret. He paused as he moved some finished paper work to look at Gerald. 

Gerald had laid on his stomach on the small office couch. He propped his smug smiling face with his hands. His legs checked up swaying in the air. His tail flickering in excitement. 

Bedrich Driscoll Von Autumn did not like that look. "What?"

Gerald's grin grew bigger. He wanted to giggle like those girls talking about boys over tea. He, however, settled for teasing instead. "Increased heart rate, saying the name in a slightly higher octave, the nearly 15 minutes babbling about someone you've only met twice."

Bedrich blinked in confusion. His brain struggling to follow the cat man's logic. 

Gerald rolled his eyes at his friend. "Our sweet anxious Bedrich is finally experiencing spring!"

Bedrich turned bright red. "She's my niece's mom!"

"Adopted mom." Gerald corrected. "You shared no blood and I heard no information of a dad. So if you play your cards right, you can be Uncle and dad figure for your niece and get a wife too."

"Absolutely not!" Bedrich flushed.

Gerald sighed. "Listen, build her a garden if she really wants to stay busy on the estate. If you don't bring them in to your estate. I'll bring them to mine." Gerald gave an evil grin. "Who knows, this Miss Diana might become a spring for me as well. And unlike a certain someone, I won't hold back."

Bedrich glared at his life long friend. "You leave Miss Diana out of your practical jokes."

Gerald shrugged. "We'll see. I'll ask her when I go with you for your next visit." 

Bedrich sighed in defeat. That smile said no negotiations allowed. 

Krissie: Still having a blast writing this.

The Witch Adopts the Duke's Precious Niece CH4

  Chapter 4:

Soley happily waved at Naria. Naira was a wood nymph who visited the garden once a month. "Hey there," she greeted the hyper child.

"Naira," Soley beamed before whispering, "Can I ask you some questions today?"

Naria tilted her head before shrugging. "Sure. Let me say hi to Diana first."

Soley nodded as she lead the way to the garden. 

Diana smiled Naria from her gardening. "Naria, it's been a while. I hope you've been well."

"I have." Naira inspected the garden. "Your garden looks great as always."

"Give me a minute to finish these cucumbers and I'll make tea." Diana stated. 

"Nah," Naria held up a hand. "Keep working on your garden. Soley told me she wanted to practice making the tea."

Diana nodded, "Alright. You two have a good time."

Once inside the cabin, Naria sat at the table while Soley got to work. "So shoot your questions."

Soley gave Naria a run down about her uncle and his visit. "Uncle checked Mom's feet for injuries, but mom was very red and her heart was going so fast."

Naria smiled as she bit back her laughter. "Oh, anything else?"

"Mom seemed nervous." Soley stated. "I want to know why. But mom probably won't answer. I like Uncle, but I don't want mom to be uncomfortable with him."

Naria nodded. "I have a theory. But you're probably too young to get it."

Soley clenched her firsts in determination. "I'll try my best!"

Naria smiled, "I like that spirit." She used her magic to make two figures out of plants. "You know how all those fairy tales the princess and prince instantly get married."

Soley nodded, "It's because they're in love."

Naira nodded. "Love eureka differently in the real world. And there are many different kinds. And love often forms in steps. For example, your mom and uncle love you like family. Your mom's love formed from caring for you and watching you go. Your uncle's love for you comes from all of his memories of his sister and a want to watch you grow too."

Soley nodded as she took in Naria words. 

"Now love between adults is different and now complicated. One of those first steps into falling in love is attraction. What you described to me seems like a mixture of your mom being nervous of a high ranking noble man but also finding your Uncle attractive. It's a perfectly normal emotion, but when you begin feeling them, there is often a period of denial. Once you accept those feelings, you can admit them to the source of your attraction and hopefully form a love relationship or you can swallow them and move on. Sometimes that feeling of attraction will wane over time."

Soley nodded as she took this information. "So, should I keep Uncle away from Mom?"

Naria shook her head. "No. In fact, I would encourage it." She grinned at the young girl. "After all, the best way to learn about romantic love is to observe it. So it will be good for you. And entertainment for me."

"Entertainment?" Soley tilted her head.

"Like how you enjoy reading or watching a puppet play in the village." Naria explained. 

"I feel conflicted about you finding it amusing when mom seems so nervous." Soley puffed out her cheeks.

Naria simply grinned. "You'll get it when you're older."

Krissie: I really enjoy writing this series. Naria's name eventually changes to Noria. Not sure how I changed the spelling while writing. Probably misread my own handwriting. So It will be a toss up on her name until I pick one I like most. Let me know which you prefer.

The Witch Adopts the Duke's Precious Niece Ch3

 Chapter 3

Soley happily bounced around the house helping Diana clean. She was very excited to have her uncle visit their home. 

"Mom this is the first time we'll have a human guest in our house!" Sooner squealed. 

Diana thought for a moment. Soley was correct. Soley was the only human living in this forest. Nymphs, vampires, even a dragon had visited before but Bedrich Driscoll Von Autumn would be the first human to visit their home. Diana still couldn't shake that his name sounded familiar. 

They met Bedrich at the entrance of the forest. Bedrich stood tall, but fidgeting with the bouquet of flowers. He had arrived early. Very early. He heard many murmurings about Diana. The villagers drawing connections between his looks and Soley's.

It was very embarrassing that the villagers thought he was Soley's father. It did make him wonder who Soley's father was. His sister hadn't mentioned a man's name in any letters she wrote him. Then again, what sister would tell their brother about a secret lover?

What left a bad taste in his mouth was everyone calling Diana a loose woman. There were no shortage of insults about Diana murmured by the villagers. He muled over what he could do for her. He was a Duke, so he could do a lot. But if he did things without asking her first, Diana might become upset with him. Bedrich didn't have many relatives left. Soley was a precious child. His only niece. His parents were too prideful to even look for his sister no matter how much they missed her. 

A part of him wanted to take Soley to his estate to give her anything and everything she wanted. But that plan might have have to separate Soley from Diana, who has been her mom all her life. 

"To separate a mother and child unjustly is the cruelest thing." Bedrich recalled many of Julia's lectures. Maybe he should write them down for Soley.

"Uncle!" Soley tightly hugged his leg. 

"Good afternoon," he beamed at the child. "I brought flowers."

"Those are very pretty!" Soley sniffed the flowers. "They smell nice too!"

"I'm glad they're up to your standards." Bedrich smiled. He wanted to pick her up and carry her. But this was only their second meeting.

"Good afternoon sir. Shall we go?" Diana led the way. Her lavender hair wasn't up in a bun today. It was very long and a contrast from her navy eyes.

"Yes!" Bedrich saluted. 

The girls tried to cover their giggles as he blushed in embarrassment. 

"So why do you live in this forest and not the village?" Bedrich agreed as a way of small talk, but also curiosity.

Diana weighed rather she should tell him she was a witched. Magic was a rare talent in this world but being a witch often put people on edge. 

"Uncle Bedrich," Soley stomped in front of him, her face serious. She held out her hand for a pinky promise. "You have to promise to keep what I'm about to tell you a secret."

Bedrich blinked taking her pinky. "I pinky promise to keep any secrets you tell me between you, your mom, and I."

Soley thought for a moment before nodding in acceptance. "The truth is I can use magic. I can show you one trick!'

Bedrich smiled at the child. "Oh really? I must be the luckiest uncle to have a talented niece."

Soley smiled smugly. Her gold eyes sparkling. "Just watch," she plucked some dandelions and leaves from along the trail. She carefully concentrated on them by holding them in her hands. She slowly lifted her hand off to show little spheres of light. "Ta-da!" She exclaimed.

"They're beautiful!" Bedrich complimented with high enthusiasm. "You're very talented Soley!"!

Soley beamed with pride. 

"Do you have a teacher that teaches you magic?" Bedrich asked excited to hear about what kind of education his niece was getting. 

Soley tilted her head. "What's a teacher?"

Bedrich Driscoll Von Autumn blinked dumbfounded. He quickly recovered. "A teacher is a person who teaches people stuff as a profession. Some tech multiple things. Some focus on one subject like math or history."

"Oh," Soley tilted her head. "I learn, but I don't have a teacher."

Bedrich nodded. "Magic is very hard to learn. Not everyone can do it. How did you learn?"

Soley thought for a moment. 

"1 teach her," Diana stated.

"You also have a knack for magic Miss Diana?" Bedrich smiled in surprise. "You're very talented as well. When did you learn magic?"

Diana shrugged, "Magic comes naturally. After all, I am a witch." She swiped her hand to remove the cloaking spell over the cabin She lived in.

Bedrich blinked several times. "Miss Diana," he smiled nervously. "Please forgive my rudeness, In the future, please do NOT disclose that you're a witch."

"Why?" Soley asked.

"Because some people fear witches due to their natural talents." Bedrich explained to Soley before turning back to Diana, "Those people could try to hurt you. OR worse!" He hissed that Iast part out in worry.

Diana couldn't help but chuckle at that. "You are A very good person." she tried to stop her laughing, "Looks like I won't need to erase your memories after all." She wiped a tear from her eye. "Now come inside for lunch."

Bedrich blushed from embarrassment Before deflating. "At least you have a Backup Plan." He sighed,

Diana bit her lip. she should refrain from telling him the memory wipe is a rock to the Back of the head.

The cabin was small and quaint. Soley took pride in showing her uncle where everything was. From the toilet, the shed of gardening tools, to the Squeaky closet that held the cleaning supplies. Soley happily dragged him by his hand around the area. She told him about the garden and all the Vegetables and herbs growing in it.

"And this," She brought him to a large tree, "Is Mother." She smiled up at him brightly. "Mother, this is your Brother. He came to visit today."

Bedrich stared at the tree as Soley babbled on. It Became a Buzzing in his ears.

She was gone.

He knew that. He had been told that. Went was a part of him still hoping it was a lie? His big sister was gone from this world and there was nothing he could do for her. 

He knelt in front of the tree next to his niece. "Hey Julia." He gave a soft smile. "It's been years. I'm doing well. Your daughter is very sweet. I'm… sorry I couldn't visit sooner."

Diana began preparing lunch while Soley showed Bedrich Driscoll Von Autumn around. Diana still could not place where she had heard his name before. While seeing the drinks on the table, it finally dawned on her. 

"He's a Duke!" Diana dropped the cup of water on the floor.

"Mom, are you okay?" Soley and Bedrich raced into the house upon hearing her screams.

Bedrich hoisted Soley into the air as he saw the broken cup. "Are you injured Miss Diana?" He scanned her hands and feet for injuries. 

"You're a Duke!" Diana stated in shock. 

He paused at her in confusion. He blinked before asking again, "Arey injured anywhere Miss Diana?"

He carefully moved her away from the shattered cup.

Diana signed. Diana sighed. "No." She liked away from him. "I was just shocked to remember that Von Autumn is a ducal house."

Bedrich nodded as he put Soley in Diana's arms. "My apologies for not disclosing that to you. But I wanted to get along well with you both without the awkward formalities."

Diana was too uncomfortable to make eye contact so she simply nodded. His logic made sense. It was common logic in novel like worlds like these. 

She glanced up at the sound of the cup pieces moving. Her jaw dropped at the sight of Bedrich sweeping up the broken cup. 

"You're choice!" She began to stammer. She need to stop him. She couldn't have a Duke sweeping her floor. 

Bedrich stopped and picked Diana up like she weighed nothing. He carefully sat her in a chair. "I assure you, despite my status, I can sweep up a broken cup."

Diana hated the fact he had such a handsome face. It charmed her into biting her tongue. She wanted her heart to stop pounding. 

"There. All clean." He beamed proudly as he threw away the broken pieces. "Now, let's check your feet for injuries," he knelt in front of her.

Diana felt a jolt go through her has his hands made contact with her feet. They had a rough texture that tickled her. She bit her bottom lip trying to calm herself. Soley hugged her tightly, noticing her mom's odd behavior.

Bedrich sighed in relief. "There are no injuries. Thank goodness."

It was at this moment that Diana remembered this novel she had been reincarnated into was an 18+ fantasy romance.

Krissie: I hope you're all enjoying this series!