Thursday, March 31, 2022
Tuesday, March 29, 2022
Fanfic Silver is Done
Random Story Scribbles
Krissie: 3/23/2022 I am mainly making this doc to write down quick random ideas as they come to me. Especially since I always have my phone on me so I can add to it. So enjoy typos and random words that even I will probably spend a good 30 minutes trying to figure out what the hell my fingers ment.
Silver felt like vomiting. Was it the greasy food? The soda he drank? Silver wished. He pouted as he looked at Sonic.
“No.” He said flatly trying to keep from spilling the greasy mushroom pizza he had eaten earlier. Though if he did, he was already planning on spraying Sonic or Rouge with it.
“Oh come!” Rouge piped up after a sip of whatever wine she was drinking. “Why not? You and Amy get along so well.”
Silver rolled his eyes. “So do Amy and Knuckles,” Silver pointed at the red echidna next to her. “And I don’t see you two trying to make him date her.”
Rouge and Sonic stared at Silver. Silver felt trapped. He was the only sober one playing cards. All he wanted to do was play cards instead it turned into the “Let’s try to get Silver to date Amy” game.
“That’s different,” Rouge started.
Silver arched an eyebrow. “I don’t see how it is.”
“Simple,” Sonic stated, “Knuckles isn’t attracted to Amy.”
“Neither am I,” Silver nearly growled. “But it’s not stopping either of you, is it?”
Knuckles tilted his head. “You have an angry setting?”
Silver slammed his head onto the table. Why can’t we just play cards?
The door to the garage opened and Shadow walked up to the table where everyone was sat. “What are you doing?” He glared in his usual tone.
“Playing cards.” Rouge looked up from another sip of wine.
“And trying to get Silver to date Amy.” Sonic blurted.
Shadow arched an eyebrow. “Is.. he drunk?” he muttered.
“Very…” Silver groaned.
“And Silver has an angry setting!” Knuckles laughed. He turned to stare at Silver with his face on the table. “Though I think he’s resetting now.”
Shadow stared at Knuckles and then at Rouge with a look that said, “This is who you love, huh?”
Rouge merely smiled and nodded.
“Alright,” Shadow sighed. “Stop messing with Silver. He’s levietaging things in the garage. And I’m trying to work on my bike.”
“Sorry Shadow…” Silver muttered into the table.
“If I have to come back up here, I’m confiscating him.” Shadow warned as he walked back to the garage.
“Confiscate?” Sonic laughed. “Pfft. What is this, school? And what does that make Silver?”
Knuckles shrugged, “Weed?”
Sonic cackled as Knuckles joined him in the laughing fit.
Silver turned his head to the side so he could look up at the bat. Once her teal eyes made contact with his golden ones, he darted his eyes to gesture at the two drunk men and then back at her. “You going to stop them?” being his silent question.
Rouge smiled as she fondly looked at Knuckles. She shook her head.
Silver sighed. Of course, she wouldn’t put a damper on their parade. Silver closed his eyes and took in several breaths. If Shadow had to come back up here to remind him NOT to levitate the things in his garage again, it wouldn’t end well for him. Silver did not need, nor want, another one of Shadow’s roundhouse kicks to the head. Once was enough, thank you very much. Luckily, or unluckily, Silver had erased that timeline, so only he remembered it. That and the whole, he tried to kill Sonic thing. Silver counted his blessings that no one remembered that timeline. It sucked anyway.
“But seriously,” Rouge tapped Silver on the shoulder. “Why not Amy?”
“UGH…” Silver sat up, rubbing his hands down his face in annoyance. “She’s a great friend. Yes, she’s pretty. But I’m not attracted to her.”
“Are you sure?” Sonic tilted his head. “Because you look at her differently than you do others.”
Silver let out several sounds, but no words would come to him. He pouted as he looked at Sonic. “I do not.” Silver crossed his arms.
Knuckles burst into another fit of laughter. “You sure you don’t have a crush on Amy at least?”
Silver contemplated throwing the red echidna out the window. Though Rouge would kick his butt for it. He could vomit on him. But he wasn’t a pusher like Sonic or Rouge. If Silver had to vomit, he would rather vomit on one of the pushers.
3/29/2022 Krissie: I have no clue where to take this. So enjoy it.
Saturday, March 26, 2022
Thursday, March 24, 2022
Saturday, March 5, 2022
Monday, February 28, 2022
PMS
I feel horrible. I can't get comfortable. For a first time in a while, I don't have painful cramps. But I feel like I'm a leaky faucet. I can feel the blood leaking out from me. Like why is my body like this? Why am I unable to sleep? Why do I not feel any energy to do anything? Why can't I get comfortable?
I locked myself in the bathroom today. Filled the bathtub with water so hot, it shocked my system and felt like it was burning me. I began crying and knew I didn't want to be found by my fiance that way. I love him and I don't want him to worry. I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
Since 2006, I have had issues while on my period. I experience a sharp pain on one side of my body where I believe my ovary is. It is typically in my left side though sometimes it moves to my right. I normally have a heavy, chunky flow. I remember seeing blobs of blood the size of a small slug on my pad.
When I got on birth control, the blood flow got lighter and more manageable. The pain wasn't as bad as it was before. However, that only lasted a year. While my flow isn't as heavy as before, the pain has returned. It is like when it first started. The same pain on one side of my body, usually the left.
I went to see a doctor at Planned Parenthood. They told me my uterus was shaped like a bull's head. It was apparently rare. It could lead to a baby being developed out of the uterus. I don't remember the proper name of it. However, when I went to another OBGYN through Kaiser, I was told my uterus was normally shaped. They couldn't find anything. There have been no answers. There have been theories, but no actual answers.
I worry. Because the pain becomes so great that I want to cut out my uterus. I feel like I want to die just to make it stop. Not just the pain, the uncomfortableness and the feeling of myself just leaking.
I want answers. I want to know why it seems like my body and brain are against me. Especially during my cycle. But at the same time. I went to the doctor so many times in search of answers, my bosses complained that I was out too often to visit the doctor. I can't really afford the doctor visits either.
I'm just... in some kind of limbo right. I don't want to feel the way I do. I don't want to have the thoughts that I'm currently having. I want answers, but I can't really afford to go get those answers either. And so I'm in this cycle of pain, suicidal thoughts, wanting answers but unable to go get them and still afford to to pay my bills. It feels like I'm in a lose - lose situation.