Poetry of my pain

April 8th, 2015

I woke up happy

I woke up cheery

Ready to face the day

With joy and optimism

I had made my schedule

I wanted to stick to it

So I did.

Laundry day is Wednesday

So laundry I began today.

But then you started to call

You had your two children.

You should be able to handle them

Why must you call me to help you then?

I offer you to come over here with them

But you decline,

I accept this. I’ll see you after 2 loads,

But before the first load is barely, you explode

Texting me,

Calling me,

Complaining to me

I have no clue what to say to pacify you

But you’re blaming me

Saying I’m a liar

Saying I never keep my word

I was going to come over,

But then you started insulting me

Making me feel like I’m in an abusive relationship

I don’t want to be in an abusive relationship

You’re saying I’ll never be able to hold down a job

I’ll never have a career

Because I can’t keep my promises

I’m trying to keep my promises

But you make it difficult

But I know, in my heart, that in order for me to keep my promises

I must first be able to keep the promises I make to myself

That’s why I made a schedule

A schedule for me to keep

A schedule for me to do things by

Wednesday was my free-est day,

So I made it laundry day.

Why it seems like a mundane task to you

It is a chore that I need to do

A chore I need to keep up with

But you seem to think that it is an excuse

An excuse made up by me because I don’t want to be social

Sorry, but I don’t believe that watching your kids is social

I don’t complain to be outside while inside at your house

I do complain about being outside

Because your garage is gross and makes me feel sick

And you seem to love to bring me outside in weather when you know I shouldn’t be outside

Are you aware of how much your words hurt?

How much your words affect me?

I’m tired of this.

I just can’t deal with this.