Letter To My Old Friend

You seem to be under the impression that I am supposed to be beside you. You act as if you own me sometimes and it hurts.

You called me worthless because I didn’t want to come spend time with you. Because I wanted a day to myself? You called me worthless. Saying I broke my word. A promise that you said I made, but I don’t recall selling you my soul. Selling my free time to you.

I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship with you. Friendship shouldn’t feel this way. Friendship shouldn’t be this way. Friendship is supposed to be happy. Friendship is supposed to make me feel bubbly. I know not of romantic love. And the family love I know is hectic. The friendship love I do know, is supposed to be nice.

But this isn’t nice. This feels like abuse. It’s not physical, like you punching and kicking me. But it’s verbal. You say things to me that hurt. You insult me and try to take me down because I don’t want to be around you. I love you, I really do. You’re my friend. But this way that you’re treating me. That isn’t friendship. It’s abuse in friendship’s clothing.

That’s not something I can take. I don’t want to be around you anymore. You’ve snapped on me way too many times. You’ve been cruel to me way too many times. And it’s barely even been a week. I can’t take that! I just can’t. So until you decide to go back to being a sensible you. I can’t be near you. I can’t take your hurtful words. The ones you yell at me and the ones you text me. I can’t take it. You expect me to care about your life and your problems. You want me to sympathize with you. But I can’t. I can’t when you’re being so mean. So cruel with your words.

Yes, you’re right. Words mean something. But a man isn’t just his word. A man is his actions too. And your words and actions. They’re cruel. And I don’t want that in my life. That’s not a good relationship for me. It’s not a good friendship for either of us. So I’m going to walk away. I’m going down the block. I know I’ll probably never hear an apology from you. But I’ll suck it up eventually. And when I’m ready, I’ll forgive you. Because that is the hardest thing for me to do. But I will not put up with your abuse again.