Art Block (Poem)

Art Block

By Krissie Gault

I wanna be funny,

But I can’t the bone for it

I settled down in the chair

Turned my music on shuffle

And grabbed my pencil

And then I stare

The white page, blank before me

Loathing the emptiness I see before me

Loathing even more the nothingness inside me

Did my brain go out on a lunch break?

My heart is pounding, demanding

Write, draw, make, create

Yet while I know I want to create

My brain isn’t pumping out the ideas

Those ideas that sprout like flowers

Crystalizing the invisible air

Yet when I finally sit

Prepared and ready

To harvest the rip ideas

Who shine so brightly that I just can’t ignore them

But when I go to work on the stare

SLAM! JAM! BAM!

My brain can’t send them out

It’s been hijacked and kidnapped

The walls so thick and tall

I can’t find my way in

Boarding my brain up in a box

A black that inside holds the light

Leaving me in the dark

As I try to do what my pounding heart’s demanding

To write, draw, make, create

But nothing of worth is coming out

Only messy scribbles and scrabbles

As another piece of paper is laid to waste

One after another

As I glare at the art block

Such a dastardly bastard

Who stole my brain who flows like the river of ideas

In all the colors of the wind

But holding hostage, persisting on keeping us apart

I stand outside the giant wall,

Banging my hands against the rough brick

Until they’re scarred and bleeding

Locked tight in its position

Tears of frustration stain my eyes

As I now want to drop the pencil in my bleeding hand

But I refuse to give up and let you have that satisfaction

Of knowing you beat me down and stole my source of imagination.

So while I fell to my knees in this sea of paper wasted

I screamed and cursed your existence

And while I struggle and stumble,

I stand up again and steady myself

With my fingers locked tight on the pencil

I scribble and scrabble on your prison walls

Turning each brick into another page

Which’ll lay to waste in the field

And one by one, I take those a thousand steps

To recycle you Art Block

And as your walls begin to disintegrate,

The colors, sounds, and visions begin to take shape

Becoming clearer with every new page I create

And as I get to the last piece I glance around

A sea of wasted papers surrounds me

Up to my waist with rocks of broken pencils and pens.

Holding up the final creation of this war

I can’t help but smile

Because behold!

I’ve found the diamond in the rough

A star grander and brighter

Then what it could have been

Had you not arrived

So while I hate your presence when you’re here

You make me writer harder, draw bigger, make better, create louder.

So while I hate you when you’re here

I must say, thank you art block

For pushing me and forcing me

To crystalize flowers from those invisible an untouchable breaths

To create diamonds from those crystalize flowers

Until they shine like twinkling stars

Mushing them together until they create their own planet

Until finally, I’m under the sea of tossed away pages

Only to hold an covet the diamond in the rough

So thank you Art Block for making me

Writer harder

Draw bigger

Make better

Create louder